课程详情
天津翻译MTI培训班一对一
天津翻译第五期MTI培训班（2015年考研）已于六月底正式开班了。在阶段的授课过程中，我们给学生布置了四次翻译作业，作业的主题和文体不同，分别为（1）散文体，（2）说明文体，（3）介绍性文体，（4）时政文体。我们的目的是要对学生在应对不同文体和主题的文章翻译时，检测他们的基本英语表达能力，即，翻译能力。原语均为汉语，目标语为英语。汉译英是我们在翻译培训过程中的内容。
对于我们中国学生而言，从母语汉语到英语的转换过程是大的短板。汉译英是检测学生英语表达能力的有效的方法。由于汉语对我们的强大影响力，多数学生在从汉语到英语的转换过程中会出现许多表达上的障碍和困难。有些学生在词汇的搭配使用方面出现问题，有些学生在句子构架方面存在困难。然而，更多的学生在英语的词序、语序等反面出现问题，甚至由于中西方人的思维模式及中西文化的差异，宗教信仰的差异等，我们的学生会在翻译过程中出现很多意想不到的问题。要想解决这些问题，我们首先就要了解学生自身存在的缺陷，然后有的放矢地去帮助他们解决各自不同的问题。这正是我们对学生进行不同文体翻译的原因所在。
在这四次翻译练习中，大部分同学积极递交作业，其中8位同学完成的尤为出色。（详情见附录）8月3日上午，我们按照计划给这些同学分别做了一对一的。一对一的目的在于给每一位同学指出各自在翻译中存在的问题并提出相应的学习方案和所应学习的参考资料。学生们一致反应这种一对一的对他们的翻译学习很有帮助。
此次反映出以下2种情况：
（1） 有些学生在所有的四篇翻译中均得到了相同级别的，例如，四篇翻译都在60多分，70多分或80多分。这说明这些同学的英语表达能力是比较稳定的。
（2） 有些学生在四篇翻译中得到不同级别的，例如，一篇60多分，一篇70多分，一篇90多分，另一篇80多分。这说明学生的英语表达能力的高低取决于所翻译的语篇的难度。难度低的就可能得到，难度高的就可能得到低分。
我们根据学生翻译能力的差别向他们提出了选报高校的建议。有些同学原来选报的高校考生人数过多，要求偏高，那我们就会劝说他们将志愿适当下调，有些学生虽然原来选报的高校适中，但考虑到所报学校的方向偏文学类，因此，我们就要建议他们在复习过程中必须参考相应的一些书籍。总之，我们认为，这次的一对一翻译是的。它让我们的教师了解学生，同时学生对自身的能力加深了认识，而且也从一定程度上对学生积极参与翻译练习起到了督促作用。
后，我们要告诉学生们这样一个道理：翻译学习是一个语言实践的过程，光听不练是达不到目的的。希望我们的考生在未来正式参加MTI入学时不是递交一篇处女作或处理作，而是一篇理想的译作。
天津翻译
2014年8月15日
附录：
天津翻译第五期MTI培训班学员作业展
由于MTI专栏版面所限，我们在此只展出8位同学的翻译习作，今后会陆续介绍其他翻译作品。愿更多的MTI培训班的同学通过我们的教师的培养及自身的努力，顺利地考入你心中理想的学校并在未来成为一名“中国好翻译”。
白明
84
评语： 译者词汇基础扎实，拼写也很棒；句法知识掌握不错，但文中从句数量偏少；译文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中词的使用。
按句点评
1.1
As an internationalized metropolis , Shanghai boasts well-developed transportation.
[句子错误] 英文标点符号之前无须空格。
[搭配错误] 搭配 boast transportation 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: boast, brag, crow, pride 均含有“自夸，吹嘘”之意。
1.2
There are numerous international air lines leading to fifty-nine cities all over the world and fourteen international ship route on the sea, which belong to two international airports.
请检查numerous international air lines，本族语中很少使用。
[句子错误] 请检查belong，确认主谓一致。
请检查fourteen .. route，注意名词数的一致性。
[批改提示] belong近义表达有go with/ fit in/ pertain to/ inhere/ attach to
[学习提示] 易混词汇: sea, ocean 均可表示“海，海洋”之意。
1.3
Shanghai also is endowed with the biggest port in China, establishing shipping relationship with more than one thousand and one hundred ports from over two hundred countries and regions.
[批改提示] big的近义表达有major/significant/substantial等。
[批改提示] 注意country和nation，village区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: give, accord, award, confer，grant, endow, present, bestow 均含有“给予，赠给”之意。
1.4
Besides, Shanghai also enjoys nearly one hundred railway lines of all kinds.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: almost, nearly, about, approximately, around, roughly 均有“大约，差不多”之意。
[批改提示] besides表示“除了（包括）”。注意与except的区别。
[批改提示] 注意enjoy和appreciate的区别。
1.5
It is convenient transportation that promotes the contact between Shanghai and other countries around the world, Shanghai leads China with its modern education system.
请检查its modern education system，本族语中很少使用。
[批改提示] promote近义表达有encourage/ further/ boost/ advance
promotes the contact between疑似冠词多余。
[批改提示] 注意country和nation，village区别。
1.6
The whole city owns thirty-two regular institutions of higher learning, thirty-seven adult colleges, five higher vocational and technical colleges as well as two hundred and sixty-seven secondary vocational and technical colleges.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: college, university, institute, school, academy 均含有“，”之意。
1.7
Shanghai will constantly perfect lifelong education system during the Twelfth Five-Year Plan and accelerate the training and gathering of excellent talents to form a highland of human resources.
[搭配错误] 搭配 accelerate gathering 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。
[句子错误] 请检查accelerate，确认主谓一致。
[动词错误] 请检查will constantly perfect，确认情态动词用法正确。
[批改提示] constantly意思为“不间断的”。注意与continually的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: accumulate, amass, collect, gather, heap, pile 均含“积聚，聚集，积累”之意。
2.1
Shanghai is a city of flourishing finance.
2.2
There are so many banks spreading all the streets, such as the branches of People's Bank of China, Bank of China, Industrial and Commercial Bank of China, China Construction Bank, Agricultural Bank of China, Bank of Communications as well as plenty of stock exchange pots.
请检查stock exchange pots，本族语中很少使用。
[搭配错误] 搭配 spread street 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。
[句子错误] 疑似there be句型中的双谓语错误
[批改提示] people表示“人，民族”。查看与person的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: branch, limb, bough, shoot 均含有“枝”之意。
2.3
What's more, many foreign banks has set up branches and offices in Shanghai.
[动词错误] 主谓不一致，请检查动词格式
[句子错误] 请检查has，确认主谓一致。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: branch, limb, bough, shoot 均含有“枝”之意。
3.1
Shanghai is gifted with favorable investment environment and policies involving in dozens of industries in over ten fields.
请检查over ten fields，本族语中很少使用。
[介词错误] is gifted with疑似介词误用。
[批改提示] involve近义表达有call for/ entail/ demand/ require/ imply
[学习提示] 易混词汇: sphere, domain, field, territory, province 均含“范围，领域”之意。
3.2
And Shanghai owns the privilege that it can export all of its products directly.
[句子错误] 本句语法不规范，请检查。
[搭配错误] 搭配 own privilege 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。
[批改提示] 查看and用于句首的用法。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: direct, directly 都有“直接地”之意。
3.3
In order to encourage foreign investment, there will be extra privileges for the operators who are engaged in large-investment and long-payback projects, such as energy sources and the construction of transportation infrastructure, besides general foreign investment treatment.
请检查general foreign investment treatment，本族语中很少使用。
[批改提示] be engaged in表示“忙于，从事”。注意与be engaged to的区别。
[批改提示] besides表示“除了（包括）”。注意与except的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: common, ordinary, commonplace, general , usual, popular, universal均含有“普通的，普遍的”之意。
曾璐
89
评语： 采用了适当的手法，层次清晰；复杂句使用不错，句法规范；译文用词灵活多样，学术词汇使用也比较准确。
按句点评
1.1
Being the first mainstay industry in national economy, the manufacturing industry of electronic and information products has formed a system producing whole machines as well as components and carrying on researches as well as production in a coordinating way.
[2014] 请检查a coordinating way，本族语中很少使用。
[2014] in national economy疑似冠词缺失或可数名词单用。
[批改提示] 查看research的可数性。
[搭配警示] 请检查electronic .. information，注意and前后词的词性一致。
1.2
With the rise of processing capacity and some breakthroughs in some key technology, China has become a world major producer in color TV sets, VCD players, SPC exchanges, monitors and components.
[2014] 请检查a world major producer，本族语中很少使用。
[批改提示] rise表示“上升，增长，站起来”。注意与arise的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: component, constituent, element, ingredient 均含“组成，成分，部分”之意。
[批改提示] technology表示“工艺，技术”。注意与technique的区别。
2.1
The telecommunications has been a key sector for the development of national economy and society and it has set up a communication network with world-class level.
[2014] the telecommunications has疑似冠词多余。
[批改提示] key的近义表达有crucial或vital或consequential 。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: communication, traffic, transportation 均有“交通”之意。
2.2
The sizes and coverage of fixed telephones and mobile phones network rank top in the world, with the numbers of users reached the second and first place respectively.
[2014] 请检查network rank top，本族语中很少使用。
[批改提示] 查看respectively与respectful的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: earth, world, globe 均可表示“地球”之意。
2.3
It offers various telecommunication services which are able to accommodate the needs of society.
[批改提示] be able to表示“能够”，注意与can区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: club, association, institute, league, union, society 均有“社团，会社，协会”之意。
[批改提示] able表示“能够……的”。注意与capable的区别。
3.1
Currently, telecom enterprises like China Telecom, China Mobile, China Unicom and China Netcom have been competing with each other .
[句子错误] 英文标点符号之前无须空格。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: compete, contend, contest, rival 均可表示“竞争”之意。
[批改提示] 查看mobile与movable的区别。
[批改提示] 注意currently和presently区别。
3.2
China will allow foreign operators to enter its market gradually in accordance with the WTO's bilateral and multilateral agreements, which will help Chinese telecom to be more internationally competitive.
[动词错误] 请检查help Chinese telecom to be，确认动词用法正确。
[句子警示] 不同单句之间常用连词连接。
[批改提示] allow近义表达有permit/ recognize/ grant/ acknowledge/ concede
[批改提示] help近义表达有support/ assist/ aid
4.1
As for the software industry, it has grown to be a new increasing point of national economy since China has always been a leader in terms of Chinese information processing techniques.
[2014] 请检查a new increasing point，本族语中很少使用。
[2014] of national economy since疑似冠词缺失或可数名词单用。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: technique, technology 均有“技术”之意。
4.2
Recently, special policies aimed at promoting the software and integrated circuit industries have been issued by the Chinese government, which has offered favorable conditions as a result.
[冠词错误] 冠词多余，请检查the chinese government。
[2014] 确认has offered favorable符合语法规范。
[批改提示] promote近义表达有encourage/ further/ boost/ advance
黄子阳
82.5
评语： 单词拼写很棒，可考虑增加学术词汇的使用量；作者句法知识扎实，但文中从句数量稍显不足；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中词的使用。
按句点评
1.1
Tianjin is a city that people do not understand.
[批改提示] understand的近义表达有appreciate。
[批改提示] people表示“人，民族”。查看与person的区别。
1.2
It seems that Tianjin is characterized by nothing comparing with another three municipal cities in China.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: appear, look, seem 均有“看起来，好像是”之意。
[批改提示] compare近义表达有contrast/ collate/ analogize/ weigh
1.3
Beijing is characterized by its grandeur and Shanghai is characterized by its prosperity and Chongqing with its scenery of mountains and rivers as prominence.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: river, brook, stream 均有“江，河”之意。
1.4
However western-style building features Tianjin.
1.5
Western-style building is to Tianjin what Eiffel Tower is to Paris.
1.6
With western-style building as Five-Avenue's fame, European style pervades the building and the building has witnessed the great changes of the passed time.
[句子错误] 请检查pervades，确认主谓一致。
[名词错误] 请检查European，确认大小写正确。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: building, structure 都表示“建筑物”之意。
[搭配学习] 动名搭配 pervade...building 在教材中出现过 4 次
[批改提示] fame的近义表达有prestige或reputation。
2.1
Wars broke out in Tianjin to fight against western colonial invaders in the mid of 19th century, but Qing government was defeated.
[批改提示] be defeated在做“惨败，失败”讲时，是普通词组，近义表达有meet one's Waterloo。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: battle, war, campaign, struggle, warfare, fight, combat, engagement 均有“战斗，战争”之意。
2.2
Thus in 1860, Tianjin was forced to be a business port, and became leased territory of colonial invaders from 9 nations.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: nation, state, country, land, power 均含“”之意。
2.3
Therefore, Tianjin witnessed the campaign against imperialism in the following 100 years.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: battle, war, campaign, struggle, warfare, fight, combat, engagement 均有“战斗，战争”之意。
3.1
With the establishment of leased territory of Tianjin, architecture style varied greatly in the leased territory from Gothic to Baroque, from Roman to Byzantine and from Medieval South-Europe style to Conservative style of 19th century.
[名词错误] 请检查Conservative，确认大小写正确。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: fashion, style 都含有“流行，样式”之意。
3.2
So the Five-Avenue is called the World Expo Architecture
李章苧
80.5
评语： 拼写做的很棒，学术词汇可适量增加；句式变化多样，句法方面做的很棒；词和词使用的比较不错。
按句点评
1.1
Tianjin is a distinctive city.
[批改提示] 注意distinctive和distinguished，distinct区别。
[批改提示] 批改提示，注意distinct与distinctive的区别。
1.2
Apparently, Tianjin is the least outstanding city among the directly governed city regions in China, compared with the grandness and stateliness of Beijing, the flourish and prosperity of Shanghai and the leisure and naturalness of Chongqing.
[2014] 请检查the least outstanding city，本族语中很少使用。
[句子警示] 不同单句之间常用连词连接。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: direct, directly 都有“直接地”之意。
[批改提示] compare近义表达有contrast/ collate/ analogize/ weigh
1.3
However, there are many western-style buildings in Tianjin.
1.4
Western-style building to Tianjin is what Eiffel Tower to Paris.
1.5
Western-style buildings in Five-Street Road is the most famous in Tianjin, these buildings pervade with European style and record vicissitudes of the history and ups and downs of periods.
[词语错误] 请检查ups，确认拼写正确。
[句子错误] 请检查is，确认主谓一致。
[名词错误] 请检查European，确认大小写正确。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: building, structure 都表示“建筑物”之意。
2.1
In the middle of 19th century, several wars against western colonialist invaders broke out in Tianjin and the government of Qing dynasty lost all the battles.
[批改提示] middle表示“中部”。注意与centre的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: battle, war, campaign, struggle, warfare, fight, combat, engagement 均有“战斗，战争”之意。
2.2
In 1860, Tianjin was forced to open as a commerce port and colonists of nine countries established many leased territories here.
[批改提示] 注意commerce和trade区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: business, commerce, trade, bargain, deal 均含“贸易，交易”之意。
[2014] a commerce port 疑似易混词误用。
2.3
The city witnessed the campaign against the domination of imperialism for the subsequent 100 years.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: battle, war, campaign, struggle, warfare, fight, combat, engagement 均有“战斗，战争”之意。
3.1
During the establishing of leased territories by the nine countries, the architectural style is different from each other within the territory and there are representatives from Gothic to Balock, from Rome to Byzantium and from southern European of medieval to conservative of 19th century.
[批改提示] be different from表示“与...不同”。注意与be different in的区别。
[批改提示] 注意country和nation，village区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: fashion, style 都含有“流行，样式”之意。
3.2
Therefore, the Five-Street Road is praised as "World Architectural Exposition".
[学习提示] 易混词汇: praise, applaud, commend, compliment 均有“赞扬，表扬，称赞”之意。
庞哲
93.5
评语： 译文词汇表达丰富，学术词汇积累做的也很棒；复杂句使用不错，句法规范；译文结构严谨，有效地使用了语句间的成分。
按 句 点 评
1.1
The electronic and information technology (IT) products processing and manufacturing function as China's first economic mainstay, which should mainly contribute to the three following aspects.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: appearance, look, face, aspect 均含事物或人的“外表，容貌”之意。
[批改提示] technology表示“工艺，技术”。注意与technique的区别。
[批改提示] contribute近义表达有give/ provide/ donate/ bestow/ subscribe
1.2
First, they have the capabilities of producing main machines as well as components; besides, they make full use of the fruits of scientific research and development to improve their capabilities, and even to break through some key techniques; at last, China has become a major producer in the world of colour TV, DVD, digital exchanges, indicators and components.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: break, burst, crack, crush, fracture, shatter, smash 均含“打破，弄碎”之意。
[批改提示] through的近义表达有across，in term of，via。
2.1
As the telecommunications industry plays a vital role in social progress and national economic growth, China has established a world-class communication network, whose size and coverage of the landline and mobile phone lead the whole world.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: communication, traffic, transportation 均有“交通”之意。
[批改提示] 查看mobile与movable的区别。
2.2
The number of the landline users and the mobile phone users ranks second and first respectively in the world.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: quantity, amount, number, sum 均有“总数，总量”之意。
[批改提示] 查看respectively与respectful的区别。
[批改提示] 查看mobile与movable的区别。
2.3
Based on the network, the Chinese telecommunications industry has opened various communication services to meet the basic needs from all walks of life.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: basic, essential, fundamental, radical, vital 均有“基本的，基础的”之意。
[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the Chinese区别。
3.1
Although China breaks the monopoly by allowing domestic telecommunication operators to share the market, like the ChinaTelecom, the China Mobile, the China Unicom and China Netcom, China will gradually open the market to the overseas operators, as honored in the bilateral and multilateral agreements with China's accession to the Word Trade Organization(WTO).
[学习提示] 易混词汇: agreement, contract, treaty, convention, bargain, understanding, accord 均含“协定，，契约，合同”之意。
[批改提示] allow近义表达有permit/ recognize/ grant/ acknowledge/ concede
3.2
In turn, the telecommunication market in China will adapt itself to the international competition.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: adapt, adjust, conform, accommodate, suit, fit 均有“使适合，适应”之意。
4.1
In China, the world-level Chinese information processing technique promotes the development of the software industry and makes the industry become a new force of economic growth.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: development, evolution 都表示“发展，进化”之意。
[批改提示] technique表示“技巧，技术”。注意与technology的区别。
[批改提示] promote近义表达有encourage/ further/ boost/ advance
[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the Chinese区别。
4.2
Recently, the Chinese Government has issued a special police in order to create a favorable environment and to encourage the development of the software and integrated circuit industry.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: create, compose, design, invent, make, produce 均有“创造，制作”之意。
[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the Chinese区别。
饶卓远
84.5
评语： 译文组织结构良好；文中应增加从句和复合句的使用；文中词汇表达灵活多样请继续保持，学术词汇积累也做的很棒。
按 句 点 评
1.1
The electronic information products manufacturing industry turns into the first majority mainstay industry in the national economy.
[低频警示] the first majority mainstay industry 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: electric, electrical, electronic 均有“电的”之意。
1.2
It has formed an industrial system that complete machines, components and scientific research, manufacture are in a concerted way.
[动词错误] 主谓不一致,请检查manufacture are，动词建议用第三人称单数。
[低频警示] that complete machines 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: component, constituent, element, ingredient 均含“组成，成分，部分”之意。
[批改提示] 批改提示，注意industrial与industrious的区别。
1.3
The ability of processing and manufacturing has been improving continually and parts of key technology have made breaks.
[低频警示] parts of key technology 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: ability, capacity, capability, genius, talent, competence, faculty, gift, aptitude 均可表示人的“能力，才能”之意。
[批改提示] key的近义表达有crucial或vital或consequential 。
[批改提示] technology表示“工艺，技术”。注意与technique的区别。
1.4
China has become a main producing country of televisions, laser videodisc, SPC exchange, displayers and some other components.
[拼写错误] displayers 拼写错误，可替换选项为：dis players, dis-players, displayed
[低频警示] a main producing country 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: component, constituent, element, ingredient 均含“组成，成分，部分”之意。
[批改提示] 注意country和nation，village区别。
[批改提示] country表示“”。注意与state的区别。
2.1
The communication industry has become an important infrastructure in national economy and social development.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: communication, traffic, transportation 均有“交通”之意。
[2014] important的近义表达有 crucial/essential。
2.2
China has built a communication network with an advanced level in the world.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: build, construct, found, erect, establish, set up 均有“建设，建立，建造”之意。
2.3
The scale and coverage area of fixed-line telephones and cell phones stand in the front rank worldwide and the subscriber's number of them has reached the second and the first respectively.
[低频警示] the front rank worldwide 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: district, region, area, section, zone, belt, quarter, neighbourhood 均有“地区”之意。
[批改提示] 查看respectively与respectful的区别。
2.4
The variety of communication service is complete and it can basically satisfy the multi-layered need from the society.
[低频警示] the variety of communication service 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: communication, traffic, transportation 均有“交通”之意。
[批改提示] satisfy近义表达有content/ please/ gratify
3.1
At the moment, there have been many telecommunication operation enterprises including China Telecom, China Mobile, China Unicom and China Netcom, etc.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: contain, include, embrace, involve, comprehend, hold, comprise 均含有“包括，包含”之意。
[批改提示] 查看mobile与movable的区别。
3.2
Gradually, the pattern that they compete with each other has formed.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: compete, contend, contest, rival 均可表示“竞争”之意。
3.3
We will also gradually permit foreign telecommunication enterprisers to entrance the China's market in according with bilateral and multilateral agreements of accessing to the WTO, which can make the competitiveness of China's telecommunication enterprisers more internationalized.
[动词错误] 介词误用，建议将access to...改为accessing。
[低频警示] make...competitiveness 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] entrance...market 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[拼写错误] enterprisers 拼写错误，可替换选项为：enterprise rs, enterprise-rs, enterprises
[学习提示] 易混词汇: agree, accord, coincide, conform, correspond 均含“符合，一致”之意。
4.1
The software industry has proved to be a new growth pole in the national economy.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: new, fresh, novel, original, innovative 均含“新的”之意。
[批改提示] prove近义表达有verify/ evidence/ confirm/ ascertain/ evince
4.2
China has reached the advanced level worldwide in Chinese information processing.
[低频警示] worldwide in chinese information processing 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the advanced level worldwide 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: attain, reach, achieve, arrive 均有“达到”之意。
[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the Chinese区别。
4.3
In the near future, Chinese government has made the special project policy in order to promote the adventure of software industry and integrate circuit industry, which brought about favorable external environment.
[低频警示] promote...adventure 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[名词错误] 冠词缺失，of software industry不规范，建议修改。
[低频警示] the special project policy 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the adventure of software industry 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
施诗凌子
82
评语： 译文词汇表达丰富，学术词汇积累做的也很棒；若注意下文中的句法错误，文章会很不错；全文结构较为严谨；可以适当增加副词的使用。
按 句 点 评
1.1
At the present, the issue about the development of energy is very extrude, especially the construction problem: the gap of the supply and demand of the fossil oil is bigger, the capacity of the import is rising year by year, the consumption proportion of the natural gas is lower than the world average level; the occupation of the clean and efficient energy can not meet the need of requirement of energy conservation and environment protection.
[名词错误] of the natural gas 冠词多余
[低频警示] fossil...oil 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the consumption proportion 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the capacity of the import 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
2.1
The outfit of the technology is fall behind, and the security of the production need be improved.
[动词错误] 动词连用，请检查need be。
[低频警示] the outfit of the technology 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: collapse, fall 都含有“倒塌”之意。
[批改提示] technology表示“工艺，技术”。注意与technique的区别。
2.2
Over the next 10 years, even more times, chinese economy will rise at the rate of 7, the multiple energy and the consumption of electricity is predicted to reach or 4.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: energy, force, power, might, strength, vigour 均有“力”之意。
[批改提示] rise表示“上升，增长，站起来”。注意与arise的区别。
[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the Chinese区别。
3.1
The great development of the economy, the improvement of the human living standard, the strengthen of the environment protection, which put forward higher requirements.
[词语错误] 用词不当， the strengthen不规范，建议修改。
[句子错误] 本句语法不规范，请检查！
[动词错误] 词性错误，the strengthen of不规范。
[低频警示] the human living standard 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: development, evolution 都表示“发展，进化”之意。
3.2
It is a important project should be solved by Chine government that to realize the sustainable development of energy and to balance the development between the production and consumption and the environment and public.
[句子错误] 本句语法不规范，请检查！
[低频警示] solve...project 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[名词错误] 冠词误用，建议将a important改为an important。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: development, evolution 都表示“发展，进化”之意。
4.1
To adapt the need of sustainable development of economy and public, China government will insist on the energy develop policy that "put the exploitation and economize simultaneously, and major to the economize ", emerging the advantage of energy, optimizing the construction of energy, improving the productivity of using, enhancing the protection of environment.
[名词错误] 冠词缺失，develop policy不规范，建议修改。
[低频警示] put...exploitation 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[搭配错误] 搭配不当，policy develop不规范，建议修改。
[低频警示] optimize...construction 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
5.1
China will on the basis of coal, rise the proportion of high quality coal; push on the transformation of big coal mine, establish productivity and efficiency mine, empolder the resource of coal-seam methane; increase the research of technology of the clean coal; integrate the oil and gas, accelerate the mine, exploitation and use of the natural gas, raise the consumption proportion of the natural gas.
[名词错误] of the natural gas 冠词多余
[低频警示] rise...proportion 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the consumption proportion 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] the transformation of big coal 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] technology of the clean coal 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
6.1
Attach importance to wind energy source, solar energy, subterranean heat and other reproductive energy, trying to rise the 3000thousand standard coal to 13000thousand standard coal in 2005.
[低频警示] standard...coal 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] rise...coal 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[低频警示] other reproductive energy 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: energy, force, power, might, strength, vigour 均有“力”之意。
[批改提示] 查看try to do和manage to do的区别。
6.2
Strengthen the economize and use of the energy, striving to decrease the GDP into 2.2t standard coal.
[低频警示] standard...coal 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[句子错误] 本句语法不规范，请检查！
[学习提示] 注意decrease，dwindle，wane，reduce，diminish的区别。
7.1
The three gorges power station, west to east gas pipeline, west to east electricity transmission project and so on, such significant development, the deeping of the electricity and some forestall professions 'change, which will enhance the coorperation between China and Germany, bring more chance.
[低频警示] enhance...coorperation 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[名词错误] 单复数错误，请检查more chance后的名词。
[低频警示] such significant development 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
7.2
We would like to increase the coorperation on the basis of the former relation.
[低频警示] increase...coorperation 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语
[学习提示] 易混词汇: previous, foregoing, preceding, prior, former 均可表示“在前的”之意。
[批改提示] basis表示“基础，根据”。注意与base的区别。
[批改提示] increase的近义表达有soar。
余蕊
89.5
评语： 采用了适当的手法，层次清晰；复杂句采用很棒；译者词汇基础扎实，拼写也很棒；可以适当增加副词的使用。
按句点评
1.1
Nowadays, China's development of energy is mainly faced with acute structural problem: larger gap between national oil demand and supply and increasing amount of imported oil lead to national gas' serious lag among the proportion of national primary energy consumption; low proportion of clean and efficient energy can hardly satisfy the demand of energy conservation and environment protection.
[动词错误] imported oil lead 疑似动词连用。
[句子错误] 请检查lead，确认主谓一致。
[介词错误] 介词多余，请检查faced with acute structural problem。
[批改提示] primary的近义表达有radical或fundamental。
2.1
The technical equipment level of energy industry still falls behind and there is much room for improvement in energy safe production.
请检查The technical equipment level，本族语中很少使用。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: energy, force, power, might, strength, vigour 均有“力”之意。
2.2
In the following decade of even longer, the economy of China will continue to develop at an annual rate of 7 percent.
[批改提示] 注意区分形近词annual和annul的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: speed, rate, velocity, pace 均含“速度，速率”之意。
[批改提示] continue近义表达有keep on/ go on/ carry on/ advance/ progress
[批改提示] develop近义表达有advance/ progress/ evolve/ thrive/ flourish
2.3
The annual rate of increase of general energy and power consumption are expected to reach three percent and six percent.
[句子错误] 请检查are，确认主谓一致。
[批改提示] 注意区分形近词annual和annul的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: common, ordinary, commonplace, general , usual, popular, universal均含有“普通的，普遍的”之意。
3.1
With the continued rapid growth of economy, constant advancement of living standards and further improvement of environmental protection, China raises new and higher requirement to the development of energy.
请检查further improvement，前加冠词或复数形式更常见。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: new, fresh, novel, original, innovative 均含“新的”之意。
[批改提示] 注意advance与advancement区别。
3.2
The significant project that Chinese government faces is to realize sustainable development of energy and deal with harmonious development between energy production or consumption and eco-friendliness or social norms.
[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the Chinese区别。
[批改提示] face的近义表达有confront。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: energy, force, power, might, strength, vigour 均有“力”之意。
realize...development: 搭配不当，建议检查。
4.1
In order to satisfy the need of sustainable development of economy and society, Chinese government will continue with its energy policy of putting stress on both developing and saving and giving priority to saving so as to make full use of its advantages in resources, optimize energy structure, increase the efficiency of energy utilization and strengthen environmental protection.
[批改提示] 注意Chinese和the Chinese区别。
5.1
During the period of "tenth five year-plan", China improved the proportion of high quality coal with coal as its foundation; encourage reform of large scale coal mine; construct high-production and high-effect mine and explore resources of gas; intensify efforts in the research of clean coal technology; put emphasis on both oil and gas and speed up exploitation and use of natural gas to increase its use in our energy consumption.
[搭配错误] 搭配 improve proportion 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。
请检查large scale coal mine，本族语中很少使用。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: hunt, explore, track, seek 均含“搜索，寻找”之意。
6.1
China will attach great importance to new energy and renewable energy such as wind energy power, solar power and geothermal energy, and try its best to increase the exploitation to 13 million tons by 2005 which is now 3 million tons.
[动词错误] 请检查try its best to increase，确认动词用法正确。
[搭配错误] 搭配 increase exploitation 在语料库中无此用法，疑似中式英语。
[批改提示] attach近义表达有lay on/ attribute/ ascribe/ assign/ accredit
[批改提示] 注意add A to B和increase A to B的区别。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: energy, force, power, might, strength, vigour 均有“力”之意。
6.2
China will also endeavor to reduce the energy consumption per GDP unit to 2.2 tons in 2005 by strengthening conservation and general utilization of energy.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: energy, force, power, might, strength, vigour 均有“力”之意。
7.1
A serious of large engineering projects such as The Three Gorges Hydropower Station, West-East natural gas transmission, West-East power transmission, and the deepening of the structural reform of monopolized industry such as electricity will create more opportunities of the further cooperation of energy area between Chin and Germany.
[批改提示] large的同意表达有miraculous或marvelous 。
[学习提示] 易混词汇: energy, force, power, might, strength, vigour 均有“力”之意。
7.2
We are willing to work with Germany to strengthen cooperation on the basis of many years of joint efforts.
[学习提示] 易混词汇: mutual, common, joint, reciprocal 均含“共同的，相互的”之意。
[批改提示] 词组，be willing to意为“非常乐意”，近义表达有be most happy to。
[批改提示] basis表示“基础，根据”。注意与base的区别。
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